in light of my recent birthday i think it's appropriate for me to reflect on the first 24 years of my life. to me, 24 feels pretty damn old. let's be honest, if i were a mere mortal 25% of my life would have already passed me by. fortunately for me, i plan on living forever so it's not as big of a deal, but 24 is the oldest i've ever been so far, so it's still a significant milestone.
although most people would agree (myself included) that i've lived a somewhat sheltered and predictable life so far. i grew up in a smallish city down in west virginia. i have an average family with one sister and my parents are actually not divorced. i was even snotty enough to attend a catholic school from kindergarten up through college. nothing terribly exciting or traumatic has ever happened to me. (*knocking on wood*) but don't take this as a complain! i'm actually very thankful for my childhood and on the whole i'd say i'm satisfied with how it all turned out. i may not be normal, but c'mon i didn't turn out that bad!
that being said, i think there's still a lot of great things that i've experienced in my first 24 years that have made me into whatever the hell i am now, and i'm proud of (almost) all of them. i have a high school diploma and a college degree in biochemistry and environmental chemistry (which i even earned in four years!). i was a hardworking, successful student but still managed to play varsity tennis and soccer in high school and even two years of college tennis. my high school retreat team and college residence life days were all fun and interesting too. not only that but i've even convinced a handful of people that i could be a good candidate for a phd in genetics.
in 24 years i've: seen gas for $0.87 and for $3.29; held jobs delivering newspapers, serving hot dogs, cleaning tables, and testing sewage samples; busted my own front teeth; brewed my own beer; test driven cars with no intent to buy; been arrested for underage consumption; won a state tennis title; found love only to lose it again; and split open my chin on the side of a bathtub.
my spiritual life has seen peaks and valleys. i felt at home in college and alien in graduate school. i've even known 'good drunk' and 'bad drunk' feelings. but some how i've survived, changed, grown, evolved into me... here... now. i look at the long trip and i can't fabricate any real complaints. i mean, sure i wish i had received a corvette for my 16th birthday and my parents would have taken me to chucky cheeze for my birthday; but i can't come up with any real complaints. that doesn't mean i would have done everything the same and i'm 100% satisfied with how my life is at 24.
i think years 1 through 23 went really well, but the past year has been a real battle. i've found myself forced into this strange university setting working towards a degree that i'm not positive i really want and a career path that is beyond foggy. in many ways i've been forced to start over from scratch. the family, social, and religious support that i had relied on so much before my arrival at msu pretty much dropped away. i spend so much of my day feeling lonely and questioning whether or not i made the right decision by coming here. furthermore, this has only added to my already basal level of cynicism and negative sarcasm. now i've only driven away those that i love the most and all because of my own uncertainty and unhappiness.
so in my next 24 years i'm looking to make a few changes but still hold on to all those sculpting experiences that have developed me. for starters, i need to get my relationship back with the big man. i can't believe home much i took that catholic school atmosphere for granted. it really does provide a support system that i miss now that that it's gone. this is really an underlying improvement that should provide clarity and a positive approach to just about everything else. next i just wish i could get some kind of clear idea of where the hell my education and my career are supposed to be taking me. there a plenty of days when i can't come up for one good reason why i should be a graduate student yet i don't know where else i could go. without this goal-oriented mind set i've found it very difficult to focus on both my course work and my research. together, these improvements should make for a much more satisfied and happy mike. once that happens i can concentrate on rebuilding the relationships that have fallen victim to the unhappy, cynical attitude that has grown out of my first year of graduate school. hopefully this will lead to forgiveness coupled to an exponential positive increase in my overall outlook. my next 24 years should offer me a huge turning point out of all this aimless wandering and into an interesting life with some professional direction... i hope.
in the my next 24 years i want to buy a motorcycle, start a family, drive across the country in an open top sports car, do more camping, build a library in my house, learn more about sailing, become an excellent cook, write a book, run a few marathons, spend time with my grandparents, keep in touch with college friends, and travel outside of north america. i want to have the balls to quit a job, eat a steak bigger than my head, drive all day to deliver flowers in person, volunteer for people who have real reasons to complain, and read one book every month.
oh yeah... and i'd also like to get more exercise and eat healthier. but don't expect me to stop drinking dark, expensive beers. and playing more golf would be nice too.
my spiritual life has seen peaks and valleys. i felt at home in college and alien in graduate school. i've even known 'good drunk' and 'bad drunk' feelings. but some how i've survived, changed, grown, evolved into me... here... now. i look at the long trip and i can't fabricate any real complaints. i mean, sure i wish i had received a corvette for my 16th birthday and my parents would have taken me to chucky cheeze for my birthday; but i can't come up with any real complaints. that doesn't mean i would have done everything the same and i'm 100% satisfied with how my life is at 24.
i think years 1 through 23 went really well, but the past year has been a real battle. i've found myself forced into this strange university setting working towards a degree that i'm not positive i really want and a career path that is beyond foggy. in many ways i've been forced to start over from scratch. the family, social, and religious support that i had relied on so much before my arrival at msu pretty much dropped away. i spend so much of my day feeling lonely and questioning whether or not i made the right decision by coming here. furthermore, this has only added to my already basal level of cynicism and negative sarcasm. now i've only driven away those that i love the most and all because of my own uncertainty and unhappiness.
so in my next 24 years i'm looking to make a few changes but still hold on to all those sculpting experiences that have developed me. for starters, i need to get my relationship back with the big man. i can't believe home much i took that catholic school atmosphere for granted. it really does provide a support system that i miss now that that it's gone. this is really an underlying improvement that should provide clarity and a positive approach to just about everything else. next i just wish i could get some kind of clear idea of where the hell my education and my career are supposed to be taking me. there a plenty of days when i can't come up for one good reason why i should be a graduate student yet i don't know where else i could go. without this goal-oriented mind set i've found it very difficult to focus on both my course work and my research. together, these improvements should make for a much more satisfied and happy mike. once that happens i can concentrate on rebuilding the relationships that have fallen victim to the unhappy, cynical attitude that has grown out of my first year of graduate school. hopefully this will lead to forgiveness coupled to an exponential positive increase in my overall outlook. my next 24 years should offer me a huge turning point out of all this aimless wandering and into an interesting life with some professional direction... i hope.
in the my next 24 years i want to buy a motorcycle, start a family, drive across the country in an open top sports car, do more camping, build a library in my house, learn more about sailing, become an excellent cook, write a book, run a few marathons, spend time with my grandparents, keep in touch with college friends, and travel outside of north america. i want to have the balls to quit a job, eat a steak bigger than my head, drive all day to deliver flowers in person, volunteer for people who have real reasons to complain, and read one book every month.
oh yeah... and i'd also like to get more exercise and eat healthier. but don't expect me to stop drinking dark, expensive beers. and playing more golf would be nice too.
