it's now late august, days are getting shorter and east lansing traffic is getting more hectic as all the damn undergrads return to town. this can only mean that class will be starting again soon only adding to my insanity. i'm now officially a second year graduate student, but what the hell does that mean? yeah, i've taken some courses and i've worked on four different research projects, but have i really made any progress?
in a 'glass is half full' manner, lets consider the positive first. i think i've really become accustomed to life out there on my own. with a few minor exceptions, i'd like to think i've done rather well at managing my finances, keeping my apartment clean, getting along with my roommate, making friends, drinking beer, eating/cooking healthy, and even getting my butt to church on a weekly basis. i enjoy 'visiting' my parents in wv and 'returning home' to lansing. this was my first chance to really be faced with some of this stuff, and so far i've lived to talk about it and i'd consider that a good thing.
that's all well and good but i'm here for school right, so shouldn't that be a bit more important? i'm always over critical and even pessimistic at times, so i find it hard to label this past year as a true "success." i came here a year ago, overwhelmed by the switch from a small catholic college of 1,400 students to a monstrous state university of 45,000+. my area of research fell within the vague realm of "environmental biochemistry" as i liked to call it, whatever the hell that is! at the time, to be honest, i had no freaking clue either! all i knew was i had a BS degree in biochemistry AND environmental chemistry and i wanted the two to work together. my graduate program advisor was a bit skeptical, but figured he'd let me give it a shot. so after two semesters of course work and three laboratory rotations, i hadn't found anyone that i could do "environmental biochemistry" with at MSU. i was left with the summer to reevaluate my research interests and find an advisor willing to support a confused student such as myself. fortunately for me, and my bank account, i was able to come up with another area of research that had interested me; evolutionary biology. because this whole process really deserves it's own entry to do it justice, i'll refrain from further elaboration now and come back to this some time later.
but now back to the present, staring at an opaque cup trying to decide how much chocolate milk is in there. the independent lifestyle that i've developed seems to be working, mostly, but this school-thing still needs more time for me to figure out. twelve months have elapsed and i still don't understand what my scientific interests are or even if a PhD is what i need to really explore them. i still don't know for certain i'm even in the right place doing the right thing.
but it's only been a year, a rather fast one i might add. so maybe i'm just reaching for an unreasonable level of understanding and direction about my educational track. maybe. maybe not. all these ideas certainly require further attention though. we'll see what happens.
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