random headlines

so it's time for me to make the periodic, much overdue post about how i really want to keep this lame-ass thing up-to-date. blah blah blah. seems like it's the only thing i remember to do every 4-6 months. so here are some headlines for my fans (hahaha. riiiight.)

1. passed my oral comprehensive exam. at least 5 people believe i have some level of competency in the field of genetics. i felt really good about grad school... for a day.
2. i went to visit joe and becca in los angeles. extended svc family. i love those kids.
3. moved into a new rental house with 3 friends. now i live with 3 lazy assholes instead of 1! it's actually pretty sweet, so come visit.
4. i may have a crush on my new training partner, who of course has an out-of-state boyfriend. not sure if i'm going to play steal card. but either way, i'm going to get into GREAT shape hagging out with her while i try to decide.
   
5. my adviser is busting my ass over writing a review paper and i have 8 weeks to pound out enough data for a conference in august... oh right, and it's super nice outside and i'm NOT motivated to do any of it!
6. the weigand/hergenroeder clan is meeting in lakeside, oh... could be dangerous.
7. i haven't brewed beer in over 6 months = MY LIFE IS TOO BUSY!
   

that's enough teasers for now. look for more info in the future... like 6 months or so.

complacency

[kuh m-pley-suh n-see] -noun - a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.

i've really been thinking about this word a lot in the last month. and now, on the eve of ash wednesday and the up coming lenten season, i struggle with how it applies to my current state. i firmly believe that sunday homilies should always light a little fire in us, make us feel uncomfortable, and inspire us to act a differently when we walk out of church and back into the world. the gospels and homilies i've been hearing the last month have been a resounding "call to action" of sorts.

a week ago (i think) we heard about the recruitment of peter and the other fishermen to be apostles. fr mark discussed his call to priesthood and said we're all out there "just fishing" and waiting for to receive that call to service, to fulfill God's plan. and just this past sunday, a visiting priest from nj (who sounded like a ny mobster) said a big problem with young people is that we expect to live a long life and therefore put off change until 'tomorrow.' rather, he says, we should step up now! especially during lent, to work at changing our hearts and reaching up to God.

i know i've written before about my 'rut.' a cloudy haze of seemingly insignificant monotony that i can't break free from. in the rush of school and research i've become complacent with my stale spiritual life and overall 'direction.' but i hear these sunday words, both from the gospel and from the homilist, and it stirs something in me; something that i can't ignore... at least for the next few hours, or in those waning hours when i can't fall asleep. i feel stuck "fishing" and waiting to receive a call... any call. it doesn't have to be a huge, life-altering call. it could just be a little whisper of "hey, go volunteer to serve soup this week."

the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one right? i've done that. i've identified my own complacency, now i need to get my hands dirty trying to crack out of it. seems all to appropriate that tomorrow, ash wednesday, starts the long season of lent. a perfect time for reflection, self inspection, and hopefully correction. everyone (i.e. all my non-catholic colleagues) keeps asking me what i'm giving up for lent. but this year it's going to be more about what am i adding for lent. i want these 40 days to be more about positive steps, additions to my daily life, that i'm going take in order to break out of spiritual complacency. (it's funny how so many people misunderstand the traditions of lent) so what are they? i haven't ironed them out yet... like i would tell you anyway? but hope, no expect changes, because what's the point if no real progress is made?

wanted

accepting applications now for female associate. responsibilities include conversation, shared meals, watching tv, back rubs, laughing, arm candy duty, and all other general "hanging out"... with the occasional closed door engagement (in due time of course). please send resume and cover letter along with your results from the following survey:

PART A:
do you...

1. recognize the beautiful simplicity of jeans and tshirts?
2. enjoy craft and import beers?
3. attend church regularly?
4. prefer home cooking over restaurant food?
5. enjoy running for more than just the fitness benefit?
6. respect the superior handling of the subaru's all wheel drive system?
7. have a sharp wit?
8. know the names of any of the original wallace and gromit short films?
9. wear glasses?
10. have a nice, squeezable butt?
11. watch and quote seinfeld regularly?
12. play tennis, soccer, and/or ultimate frisbee?
13. know how to goof-off on the dance floor?
    
14. consider yourself a practicing catholic?
15. eat breakfast every day?
16. appreciate the music of phil collins?
17. know how to drive a manual transmission?
18. love when it snows?
19. possess a college degree?
    
20. still watch cartoons?
21. insult me repeatedly in a sarcastic manner?
    
22. enjoy attending live sporting events and actually WATCHING the game?
23. exercise 3 or more times per week?
24. attend graduate school in any field other than genetics?
    
25. love cooking even if you suck at it?

PART B:
do you...

1. order bud, but light, miller lite, or any other donkey piss excuse for beer when you go bars?
2. consider dry-humping a reasonable way to dance to hip-hop music?
   
3. ascribe to some ridiculously restrictive eating regimen?
4. watch soap operas?
5. perpetually listen to your IPOD?

PART C:
do you...

1. frequently visit tanning salons?
2. enjoy casual sex?
3. refuse to go outside without excessive make-up?
4. bench press your body weight and mine combined?
5. touch pee-pees on the dance floor?
6. smoke?
7. show any loyalty to the michigan wolverines?
8. feel the need to call or see me every day?
9. dress like a scank and go to dingy bars EVERY weekend?
10. have any children?

*survey questions subject to change without notice.

SCORING:

tally up the number of 'yes' from PART A and subtract double the number of 'yes' from PART B. this is your total adjusted score (TAS). if...

(TAS = -6 to +5) i'm not really sure your mike material, so write a damn good cover letter, but it's not looking good.
(TAS = +6 to +12) still a pretty weak showing, but considering the lack of options on the table, you may float to the top a pile... because your application IS the pile.
(TAS = +13 to +22) you're right in the ball park of what mike is looking for. review of application material is still needed, but i'd say you have shot.
(TAS = +23 or more) forgo sending any other application materials. just send your address and ring size. you're a done deal!

IMPORTANT:
should you answer any questions in PART C with a 'yes' you are automatically DISQUALIFIED! please do not waste my time by sending your application, it will only be rejected. no exceptions.

valentine's day

valentine's day is such a funny holiday. for couples, it's a one-way giving spree and for singles, it's another day to be depressed and bitter. me, i don't really care. but i've had fun watching other people respond to this holiday, and it's not even until tomorrow!!

a coworker of mine, in a long-term, mid-distance relationship tried to argue with me the one-sidedness of this holiday. women, i proposed, expect big things from their men but never really put in an equal effort. (how is this different from any other day of the relationship? i don't know, that's another post, for another day.) she however, assured me that she put equal effort into valentine's day. but.... then spent 10 minutes to justify why she wasn't willing to pony-up the money to send him flowers or treats. this afternoon, she received flowers from her boyfriend. i think i can win an argument with her without even talking!!!!


some of my single friends, conversely, are full on into their "to hell with valentine's day"-crotchety-depressed mode. they hate everyone else who's doing something special tomorrow and just want to get drunk!

personally, both people crack my shit up! so what am i doing to celebrate the holiday of love?

1. i sent my grandma a card (like i do every year).
2. i'm going bowling (it's league night).
3. i'm going out with some single friends for beers to celebrate our single independence!
4. i made an appointment for my subaru to go into the shop on thursday. i figure, without a girlfriend, my subaru is currently the love of my life and i might as well pamper it.

update

wow. it's been a long time since i've added any thoughts here. shits been crazy. thinking about too many things. so here's a list of headlines to catch up my loyal reader(s).

1. i FINALLY met with my committee to discuss my research. they loved it and for about 45mins i actually felt good about my research. the feeling has since past.

2. i'm now an official member of the american homebrewers association. courtesy of my parents.

3. winter has finally come to michigan and it's FREEZING.

4. i joined a bowling league. pat, aaron, and i (aka team "just here 4 beer") average 1 pitcher of miller lite per game. i even bought red and blue bowling shoes. just can't seem to finish all 3 games over 100 in a single night.

5. my latest beer, an explosive strong ale (no really, it actually blew the lid off my fermenter... twice!) will be done soon. i have high hopes for this one.

6. i'm trying to find a house to rent in lansing/east lansing. getting out of this shitty apartment before the rent goes up any more!

7. the subaru still kicks ass!!

8. i set a new personal record on the bench press: 125 lbs. i know it's not much. but i think it's pretty good for a skrawny runner that barely tips the scale at 143. you could say i'm getting more buff.

9. no matter how often i go to the wiskey barrel saloon, i don't get any better at line dancing.

10. i'm trying to get involved in my church's grad student and young professionals group. interesting group of people so far.


well that's all for now folks. i'm trying not to neglect this as much.

the beer nuts

so in my previous post, i mentioned my failed application to become the beer advisory columnist for michigan state's student newspaper the state news. if you haven't heard, i didn't get the job. sadly they decided to give it to chris michner and kyle miller who, i'm told, have "more brewing experience." now for those of you who've tasted my homebrew (ok maybe not the cherry cream ale) should be rolling on the floor right down in a puddle of your own urine. i'm sure captain accountant and first mate physiology (yeah, i facebooked their bitch asses) have churned out half a dozen quality brews from their highly advanced, just-add-water mr beer kit. about a week ago their first column appeared on the newspaper's website rambling some shit about pumpkin beers, but writing seemed entertaining. today tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb saw print for the first time with: savor these brews to survive the holidays. i encourage you all to read it.

now this "review" is a true journalistic gem, if i might say... or i could actually be honest and call it the most bland, unoriginal, and uninspiring description of four beers i've ever read in my entire life!!! for starters, they attempt to tackle holiday spice beers, a difficult subject because they embody flavors that just don't seem to belong in a beer. the sad part is, i almost enjoy their writing style... right up until they actually start talking about the beverages they're giving advice on! i personally enjoy their excessive use of the word "flavor" - 13 times in a 698 word article, sometimes even more than once in the same sentence: "the most prominent of the FLAVORS you will experience is the telltale FLAVOR and sweetness of the honey added to the brew. " granted, i was not an english major in college, but i'm smarted enough to know a little word variety is a good thing! best of all they never even bother to discuss what the hell a holiday spice beer's FLAVOR should be!! these numb-nuts are writing to 40,000+ students many of which spend saturday nights drinking natural light until they puke!! they don't have a freaking clue what the hell a winter white should taste like. all they know is that six of them cost the same as a 30 pack of their usual swill!!

but alas, these fine gentlemen are, after all 'experts' and i appreciate their advice. i can't wait to read their next insightful joyride into the vast unknown frontier of fermented magic as only a 6th grade vocabulary can facilitate. thus giving me even more reasons to hate the state news. honestly, if it wasn't for the sports coverage, the comics, and the $5 tax added to my tuition, i probably would never pick up a "free" copy on my way into the lab.

exploring beer diversity

when the msu newspaper (the state news) solicited for someone to write a beer advisory column i just had to sumbit an entry for application. i figure i know as much, probably more, than most of the lousy undergrads on campus. the enditor has yet to return my email and i'm doubtful my work will ever see print. but i wrote the damn thing and someone ought to read it. so i present it here for my single loyal reader:

Whether you chalk it up to nature or nurture, I have undoubtedly picked up my father’s knack for obscure beers and his never-ending desire to explore the previously untasted. He sets a firm example, making sure never to stock our refrigerator with lesser Budweiser or Miller barley pops, but instead with domestic and foreign craft ales. Exotic beers have become our obsession and my father is unquestionably proud to see me carry on the family tradition. Our every conversation centers on our latest beer encounters, and I don’t dare drive home to visit my parents without a fresh six-pack of Michigan microbrew.

We have developed a family code that strictly governs our consumption practices; steering us away from the commonplace and towards the exploration of beers with more character. The most enjoyable part of being a beer-drinker is the ongoing pursuit of newfangled brews, and I never tire of searching for something novel to try. Beer’s greatest strength lies with its diversity. I hate to see people stuck in a rut, always ordering the same watered-down long-neck at every bar. With the hope of encouraging fledging beer connoisseurs everywhere, I’ve assembled a short guide for expanding your beer repertoire.

Start by experimenting with styles. The style of a beer defines its basic characteristics, such as: color, bitterness, body, aroma, and alcohol content. Historically, the assorted styles arose from the various ingredients used in different locations. These include: yeast strain, brewing technology, water quality, and even politics. Today, styles provide us with a vocabulary for discussing and comparing beers, while taking into consideration their different composition. Most novice drinkers, being accustomed to megabrewed swill, should start with smooth amber ales before progressing either towards more bitter IPAs or towards rich, creamy porters. Don’t be afraid to try as many styles as possible because each offers a different glimpse at beer’s complex nature. Each has a true staple example that can provide you with a fair representation of what that style has to offer.

Finding styles you prefer will greatly reduce your field of possibilities and you can begin to investigate different brewers’ interpretations. Although a style dictates the primary ingredient make-up and flavor characteristics, an element of artistry exists in brewing. The dream of every brewmaster is to develop a recipe that fits the established style guidelines but still has its own unique taste. Sample different iterations within a style and you should begin to develop a nose for the core composition of that style and appreciate how different brewers make it their own. Now, when confronted with a new beer, you can guess whether you’ll enjoy it or not because you have experimented within the style it represents.

Like all beer drinking, experimentation of new brews is best done with friends. More bars are increasing their selection, but don’t expect to find the truly obscure ones on tap at your local watering hole. Host a themed beer party and invite everyone to bring a different six-pack. You can choose from various themes like: regional beers, Michigan microbrews or German imports; style, stouts or fruit beers; or the totally extraordinary, non-English labels only. Whatever your theme may be, it provides a great opportunity for a group of friends to try many different beers without individually committing more than $10. Be sure to have small taster cups on hand because more than six people will want to try each beer, and you’ll undoubtedly crack one that you won’t want to finish.

It’s only fair to warn all you fledging connoisseurs of the risks inherent in beer experimentation. First, the craft beers I’m talking about, whether microbrew or import, will cost you more than say, the everyman’s case of Bud Lite. Be selective and make your purchases count because $9.00 six packs quickly add up to make an expensive hobby. Second, you’re going to encounter beers you won’t ever want to drink again. Not every beer should to appeal to you, but that’s the point of the whole process. You’re trying to broaden your horizons and experience the rich diversity of beers out there and they can’t possibly all be to your liking. I can remember a few dank beer experiences of my own, including a $40 case of Trois Pistoles that left me with 23 bottles in need of ‘alternate disposal.’ Third, you’re bound to get mixed reactions from your peers. In a perfect world, you would be quickly elevated to the role of resident beer aficionado, revered for your cool, sophisticated and refined palate. After all, you have methodically tested beers across the full spectrum of taste and color, while you’re friends slammed cans of PBR every night. However, people could just as easily write you off as a beer snob prick. It’s a chance you take.

But my hope is really that you learn something from a journey in beer exploration. Learn that beer has much more to offer than what the mass-producing factories of Anheuser Busch, Miller, and Coors try to force feed you. Learn that although most brews fall into defined styles, every brewer (especially the small ones) adds their own flair, which results in limitless taste variability. But once you find a style you like, you should be able to rely on it when drinking at any new pub or brewery. So be bold, step away from that pedestrian, watered-down beer you've been drinking, and reach for something with a little more character.